Meguro sipped his third glass of sake and groaned in satisfaction while the people around him laughed. Sakuma patted his back as he congratulated him for the role he got. Jesse cheered while raising his own glass from the edge of the table. Fukka joked how he will drink all the sake bottles on the table all by himself. Juri denies this by saying he will also help him get rid of the sake bottles. In between all the chaos of the fifteen men, Meguro only chuckles as his eyes scans the room, trying to find him . He could only sigh when he saw him smiling shyly a few tables away.
Their eyes met. Meguro raised his glass while smiling and he laughed. With that beautiful laugh he always does in front of cameras, his hand raising his glass back with the same expression. Just with that, Meguro turned giddy and jumped back to the conversation on his own table.
It was their monthly drinking party, where both groups will eat, drink, talk, and sometimes sing just to get away from their nitty-gritty show business schedules. This time, they’re doing it in a restaurant that was owned by Jesse’s acquaintance. Fifteen men can’t simply sit on one table (although Shintaro suggested for them to just sit on each other’s laps and Meguro glanced at him to see if he wanted to, but alas, he laughed and said no quickly) so they were separated into a few tables. Meguro was quite unlucky since he has to accompany Raul to the table he’s currently sitting and he ’s a few tables away. He could still see him from afar, but still, this was quite his only chance to see him that month.
When they were all flushed and tired, Juri stood up and suggested they go to a private bar his friend owned. Jesse quickly rushed up with his glass and joined him, which quickly became a few men just standing up and swinging side to side singing an acapella version of a bar rave. Meguro only laughed as he glanced at the few tables next to them. He was leaning his head on the wall as he’s typing on his phone. He stared at his pink ears and pink cheeks, how could anyone look that mesmerizing from afar?
After half an hour debating whether to go through with Juri’s idea or not, they were split into two groups where one would go with Juri to his friend’s bar and the other would go home because of their schedules. Meguro was going to go with the former but he saw how tired Raul looked and he needed to make sure he went home safely so he refused (sadly).
So there he was, standing in front of the restaurant with his mask on, after sending off Raul to a taxi. He sure hoped the boy would go straight to sleep after, he kept complaining about his classes when they were drinking.
“Meguro, you’re unexpectedly nice.”
His voice.
Meguro turned, his chest squeezed on its own.
“Hokuto-kun.”
Hokuto smiled, showing the canines Meguro loved. “Hey.”
He gulped. “Hey.”
“I’m surprised that you’re not joining Juri and the others.” Hokuto said as he stood beside him, putting his hands inside the pockets of his coat because of the cold.
“Yeah.. I’m in charge of a college student, sadly.”
Hokuto grinned. “It’s my first time seeing him drink, he unexpectedly took it quite well.”
“Well, you could say we trained him well.” Meguro answered and Hokuto laughed at that. “How about you, Hokuto-kun? Not joining Juri and the others?”
Hokuto rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”
“ ‘Cause last time I checked you graduated already-”
He punched Meguro softly at the arm. “ Shut up.”
Meguro could only snicker, feeling the heat on his cheeks after successfully teasing him. He glanced to his side and he could see Hokuto diving half of his lower face in his scarf, his eyes flickering from the cold with the slight flush from the alcohol on his nose and ears. Meguro wanted to tuck his hair behind his ears so badly.
“What?”
“Huh?”
“You’re staring at me. Do I have something on my face?”
“No, nothing.” Meguro shook his head.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Hokuto sighed as he wiped his face with his hand. “I should’ve known better than to trust an award-winning actor..”
“Hey, you won one too!” Meguro furrowed his eyebrows as Hokuto laughed.
“Okay, now we’re even.” He smiled.
And at that moment, Meguro wondered. What would Hokuto say if he said that he was staring at him because he thought he was beautiful? How would Hokuto react? Will his cheeks blush? Will he deny it so strongly and yell at him? Or would he stare because of the shock and look away? Meguro wanted to know. He wanted to know so badly and the alcohol that was pumping in his blood is not helping.
“Hey, you’re staring again.” Hokuto snickered.
Meguro wanted to tell him he loved him. He wanted to take him in his arms so that he wouldn’t feel as cold anymore. He wanted to tell him how he’s actually been staring since they got into the restaurant. He may seem like a creep but whatever, he’ll tell him about how he’s been crushing on him since they back-danced for Fuma together. He’ll tell him everything right now. Right when he has the courage and the chance to. Hell, he doesn’t know when he will see him again soon. Next month? Meguro doesn’t know if he could even wait that long.
“Hokuto-kun..”
“Yes?”
Is this the right time to say it? Will he be okay if Meguro said this now? He tried to read his eyes but Meguro found nothing. It was still the same beautiful pair of eyes Meguro loved to find in each crowded room he’s been in but they won’t tell him anything. He wanted to know what they meant though, almost so badly too. Will Hokuto tell him what he thought about him after? Would he like him? Would he hate him? Will Hokuto finally let him read his eyes?
“I-”
“Ah, that’s my taxi.”
Hokuto raised his hand as Meguro’s heart dropped. The car pulled next to them as Hokuto made sure his bangs were covering his eyes as a cover. Meguro could only look at awe, he thought it was adorable. Hokuto looked at him before getting in the car.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you next month.”
Meguro could only nod as his mind became dazed with the words he’s going to say and the bunch of sake he had. “I’ll- I’ll see you around.”
Hokuto smiled. “Get home safe.”
He got into the car, leaving Meguro standing alone in the snow. He watched the car go as he realized he hadn't said the words back.
“You too!!” He shouted at the car, not even caring if Hokuto heard him or not.
Get home safe.
The cold and his alcohol-infused mind were starting to get into him. How could three words seem so much more affectionate than it was? Meguro felt his chest squeezed in pain as he remembered how he said those three words, how his mind translated them into words that weren’t those words at all. But Meguro had to say those words back, he felt the same after all. So he took a deep breath;
“I love you too.”
His breath hitched as the words left his lips in the cold. His lips shuddered and his hands trembled, sometimes the waves in his chest could be so strong that they are starting to take a toll on his body. He needed to say his feelings to him before he could collapse, but he would wait. He would wait as long as it takes until Hokuto gives him the permission to read his eyes, to know when the timing’s actually right.
Meguro squeezed his eyes tight. There will always be next month. He’s strong enough to wait until next month.